The Person You Were Talking To Is No Longer There

"DO YOU NEED ANY HELP CROSSING THE ROAD LUVVY" was the rather loud instruction shouted at my face by a lady who looked as old as time itself. I looked down at her (she was about 4ft tall) and I kindly told her "Back the fuck off, you manky old bitch. I'd rather get run over by a bus than have your withered hand drape itself on my personage". Of course I didn't really, even I'm not that cruel. I politely declined and said that it was kind of her to ask but I could manage. 
I can't say this happens that often, as since I've had Gibson and we walk around together it appears that I'm now a proper 'special' person. I officially qualify for that seat on the bus that is marked 'for special people only'. I'm like disabled. Which means most people have no idea how to talk to me, treat me or behave around me. 

Please give up your seat for anyone walking with K9, a person bouncing
on a space hopper or someone carrying a pneumatic drill whilst jogging on the spot.  

It's a very interesting situation and one which I often find hugely entertaining, as there's nothing I like better than an awkward silence following a person trying to ease their own discomfort from being around a DISABLED. 
For many years during my twenties I tried to blend in to hide my disability as much as possible. I remember refusing to be registered as blind (the current PC term is sever sight imparied... sigh) as this would mean I would have to tell people when filling out any application form and this was something I just didn't feel comfortable doing. But as my eyesight deteriorated so did my inhibitions and realisation that I didn't care what other people thought or said, it had no actual bearing on my life. Once I had this eureka moment, life became a lot easier and more manageable. 
I've faced many different situations where it has become apparent that people just don't know how to behave or act around me. Obviously people that have known me for many years (and that will probably be everyone who ends up reading this) still treat me as the grumpy old fart that I've always been, and quite right too. 
I was standing innocuously on a platform in the Underground and was reading the Metro that someone had left on the bench. Gibson was sat beside me staring intently at the rats scampering around in the guttering. I was reading and oblivious to what was going on around me until I heard a distinct conversation that was happening right next to me. 

"He must be training that dog"

"Yes, he can see the paper. He's definitely reading it"

"Unless he's just looking at the pictures, he is holding the paper close to his face"

"Maybe the dog belongs to someone else"

"Nah, it's got that harness thingy, he's definitely one of those blinds"

"Blinds? But he can see cant he?"

"I dunno how it works do I, maybe he's just blagged it to get all the free things that they get"

"Yeah, they do get special treatment don't they. I'd definitely pretend if it got me free things"

At this point the tube starting pulling into the station. I leaned over and handed the paper to them. "Here you can have my paper, for free. You clearly like getting things for nothing" 
I wished I could have said more, but to be honest with you some people are beyond saving. I was shaking my head amazed that a conversation like this could take place between two adults. They clearly thought I was deaf as they were talking so loudly next to me. The look of shock on their face when they realised I had heard their conversation was priceless. 

Gratuitous puppy picture. Check. 

It's this type of ignorance that I find more common than not, people are just stupid and ignorant. But of course not everyone is like this, there are many genuine people that devote their lives to helping others less fortunate than them. But you're not going to know about them, as they don't do this to then tell everyone on facebook. They just do it, because they want to. 
There are also other types of people, the ones who think they're doing something right. It's hard to ridicule them as often their heart is in the right place, but a lot of the time there is an overemphasis on 'doing the right thing'. This leads me onto the title of this post, which only a precious few know the actual story behind, so I thought I'd share it with you. 

Right next to the Bournville Boullevard

We went on a family trip to CadburyWorld with an organised Brownie excursion group. They'd very kindly pre-arranged it so that Gibson could come with. In hindsight I wouldn't have taken him as it was a long coach journey and really Gibson didn't have to come. 
The two organisers on the day were very nice and earnest, but they had the need to overcompensate to me and seemed to have to give me a running commentary of the day. For example whilst on the coach one of them approached me and said that we were on a coach, it would be travelling at speed on a motorway to get to our destination. At a service station stop we all got off for refreshments. I was standing having a coffee and cigarette and one of the ladies approached me and said in all honesty:

"The coach is 90 degrees to your right hand side, there are 3 obstacles in your way. We will be leaving in 10 minutes, you should allow at least 5 minutes to get on the coach."

I thanked her and looked round and the coach was 12 feet from where I was standing with a crisp packet and stone on the floor and a bin next to it. She said this in an overly earnest voice, slightly above talking loud. I said to my other half that they clearly don't know I have some sight, and should I tell them. She was adamant that I should just keep quiet as they were trying to be nice and do the right thing. At the land of Cadbury, there was an area where Gibson had to be looked after and the staff kindly took him away from me as we walked around the factory area. When we came back around I inquired where they were keeping him and then I saw a man being dragged by a very excitable Gibson in my general direction. I took his lead back and bent down to give Gibson some attention. I said 'Thank you for looking after him for me'. At this exact juncture I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder and a loud booming voice shout in my ear 

"The person you were talking to is no longer there. You are now talking to a completely different person." 

I looked up and indeed there was a complete stranger looking at me bemused, more at the shouty women than me to be honest. She then proceeded to shout: 

"We are now moving 90 degrees to your left into another room, there are a number of obstacles in your way." 

At this point I was close to boiling point. I grabbed Sim and said that she'd better keep the shouty literal woman away from me. Fortunately there were no further outbursts, and I calmed down. It was very hard to keep my mouth shut, but I realised that this was just how this person dealt with things. She thought she was being nice and helping a special disabled person, who she took it upon herself to ensure avoided any obstacles and moved in an exact very specific trajectory and she clearly loved geometry. 
There is no point to this post, it's merely cathartic for me to put situations into written form, and I hope that I can bring a deeper understanding of geometry to your life. But please note that the person who wrote this blog is no longer here.