The Diet Trap

I know that some people can't understand when I tell them I'm not 'on a diet', as they're so caught up and brain-washed with the whole diet trap that it's not easy to see the wood for the tress so to speak.

Generally we've all gone on a diet at some point in our lives, even people who are not over-weight go on a 'diet' to lose a few pounds before a holiday, or to get into that particular dress or dinner suit. But the problem is that most of the time we're bloody miserable. Diets are horrible things, that seem to spend more time telling you what you're not allowed rather than what you are. 

It's a common fact that as soon as you say to someone 'Please can you not touch that large piece of chocolate cake, I'm saving it for later'. They automatically want that piece of chocolate cake more than anything else. It's what is commonly referred to as the Adam Complex (well when I say commonly - I just made it up. But it sounds good!). As in Adam & Eve. According to legend, and not truth - Adam could have anything he wanted from the Garden of Eden, apart from that sodding apple. So why did they eat that Apple? Because they were told they couldn't have it, and allegedly there was some talking snake who was not helping matters. 

Just one wafer thin Apple. Oh No I can't I'm stuffed. Oh go on, go on etc

Before I go on a religious rant here,  I can't let the talking snake pass. As sane individuals, we're meant to believe in god. The same god who made this snake talk, and then apparently because it was so evil took its ability to talk away for all future snakes. Well that's clearly bollocks is it not? Hands up who believes in god. Ok that's quite a few of you. Now hands up who believes in talking animals. Well apart from Dr Dolittle over in the corner, it's all gone a bit quiet. It's not like there's loads of talking animals around. Anyway - I'm diversifying and this was not a religious post, even though I am Rev Food. 

So back to the Adam Complex. This is fundamentally the basis for all diets since the beginning of time. Whatever diet you go on, they're all saying it's good to eat this and that but whatever you do, don't eat THAT CHOCOLATE BAR, or if you do, you're only allowed 1/4 of it. So obviously we spend all our time thinking 'I can't eat that chocolate bar, but I WANT IT'. So when you're on a diet you spend all your time trying not to think of what you're not allowed to eat, or using your will power to stop yourself. And generally you're pretty miserable. I don't remember many times when I've been on a diet and was truly happy. I lost over 2 stonne on the Slimming World diet, and thought at the time it was brilliant. But as the diet stops you from mixing carbs and protein it's not workable on a long-term basis, and sure enough once I'd lost the weight it soon started to creep back once I started to eat 'normally' again. 

How do you get off the Adam Complex? Well it's actually quite easy really. It''s just a case of realising that you're really not missing out on anything at all. I can eat chocolate if I want to, but why would I want to? There will be times when I choose to have some nosh, but it's my choice. I know it's hard to explain, so for now I'll just tell you about a new fad diet that I've just come up with. I'm going to make my millions from it. 

I call it the 5 ITEMS OR LESS DIET. In a nutshell - from now on - don't eat packaged food that has more than 5 ingredients in it. Simple. You'll find that you'll end up cutting out nearly all processed food from your diet and that's not a bad thing at all. And don't eat anything that you don't know where it's come from. So no random meat product. Most packaged food you buy has a lot of extra ingredients that you don't need. The items that you buy that have less than 5 ingredients, will not contain any extra sugar, salt or processed E numbers. Now go to the supermarket and see what you can actually buy with 5 items or less. You'll be amazed how little there is. 

A prize for anyone who knows what the hell this is? It sounds truly disgusting

See what I've done there. I've gone and slagged off diets, and then gone and added another one to the mix. But if I can make my fortune off it, then you can all stay fat for all I care. I'll be rich, rich I tell thee.