Ok this is not going to be a long puerlie post about the shape/size/length/colour of poo or the typical talk about etiquette in urinals which we all know about (to refresh your skills go here: http://www.funny.co.uk/stuff/art_71-1549-Urinal-Etiquette-Test.html).No - this post is deeper than that. It will tell you a lot about my psyche. You see I have a problem (not the only one either). I'd like to know whether I am alone with this 'issue' or whether there are other people who also do as I do. What am I talking about? Grading toilets that's what. What do I mean? Here's a more detailed explanation.
It goes back to when I first started working and used to have a few interviews, always a bit nervous I made sure I freshened up in the toilets of the company I was visiting. I realised after a short while that I was taking an unatural interest in every toilet. I was mentally 'grading' the quality of conveniences and this told me a lot about the company. This is still true today and whether i'm on a client visit, going to a new office, or visiting a hotel or other workplace - I always look at the quality of the WC and mentally grade them. How do I do this? Quite simple really.
- Obviously the most important is overal cleanliness - wee on floor, horrible yellow signs warning of 'slippery floors' are a big NO! So if you go into a toilet and it has that fresh smell of wild flowers you know their air freshener system is working.
- Next I look at the way its laid out - how may urinals are there - any men's toilets with an even number of urinals were obviously built by a woman. No man would place 2 or 4 urinals, it should be 1, 3 or 5 - think about it.. it makes sense. The type of urinal is also important - some toilets include a 'little' urinal for small boys or dwarfs. How may times have you casually strolled into a toilet, walked upto a urinal and started doing the do then look accross and realise yours is much smaller than everyone else's and you're actually weeing nearly on the floor. In my head I imagine the embarassment if a 'small man' walks in and stares at you as you've taken his place.. anyway i'm going off on one. Quickly - I also hate the full open urinals that are just a step up to then wee anywhere - these are always full of everyone's wee but luckily only really found in public places now or manky pubs.
- Then of course the quality of the actual stalls, making sure they're clean and no toilet brushes sitting on top to warn off anyone. The type and quality of paper - i'm yet to find any office that uses paper that you'd use at home. Although i've been to a hotel that actually seemed to use the softest, most absorbent paper i've ever seen and that was in their foyer toilet not even the ones in the room - top marks there.
- Finally the type of basins and most importantly how you dry your hands. I much prefer the towels rather than those horrible usless hand dryers that never actually dry your hands. Although I was very impressed with one office that had a new type of hand dryer where you put your hands into a crevice - and they do actually work (see pic).
- In some scenarios I also look at the number of doors it takes to get into a toilet - in our current office you actually have to open 4 doors to just get into the toilet - this is a ridiculous layout.
Once I've mentally gone through all of this - which now takes me about 6 seconds, I decide on whether I like the office. I've actually been put off of a couple of company's by the terrible state of their toilets. If they can't keep the toilets clean and tidy - what does that say for everything else. Really i've discovered a new science - sort of toilet philosophy if you will. Yes i'm probably mad, and yes probably no-one else ever does this - but i'm proud to admit this is important.
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